Simple tips that will help reduce the harm if you cannot completely avoid communication with a toxic personality.

The psychologist and writer of Shahida Arabi has been exploring the topic of dysfunctional relations for many years – in particular, writes books on self -help for those who have experienced the destructive power of the daffodils, studies the problems of emotional violence and develops strategies for those who fell into the power of various “manipulation specialists”.

Communicating with the “surviving victims of the daffodils,” the writer formulated a list of actions that should be avoided if you are in relations with a similar partner. It recalls: patterns of behavior of such people are quite predictable, but we can maintain mental balance if we do not count on their support and sympathy.

Here is a list of actions that should be avoided in communicating with a toxic loved one, whether it is a colleague, partner, friend or relative.

1. Do not travel together

Those who were in relations with the daffodil often tell how the vacation of their dreams turned into hell. Moreover, in some cases, even about the honeymoon, which, in theory, should be one of the most romantic events in human life. Going with a partner to distant lands, daffodils create conditions in order to isolate it and fully show their dark sides.

If your companion has already behaved inappropriately: depreciated you, tortured you in silence, humiliated and insulted – be sure that the change of scenery will only give up it, because where no one knows you, you cannot ask for support.

2.Do not celebrate special dates and your favorite holidays together

Narcissus are known to the tendency to sabotage those events that can make their colleagues, friends and partners happy and distract the attention from themselves, “great and terrible”. Therefore, it is better for them to simply not know that an important day has come for you.

3.Avoid meetings with friends in Narcissus

Often people with a narcissistic type of personality at parties begin to flirt with new acquaintances. Thus, they force the partner to worry and compete for their attention. This can hurt your self -esteem, not to mention the fact that the mood will definitely deteriorate. “You will feel pain and alienation, because the daffodil captivates the crowd, devaluing you,” explains Shahida Arabi.

It is important to remember that daffodils tend to create such relationships not only in the family, but also at work and in the office of a psychotherapist. They pull among themselves colleagues, relatives and acquaintances, in order to feel better and feel power over others.

4.Refuse a joint visit to family holidays

Narcissus can upset you in advance to expose in an unsightly light to your family: look, they say, what emotionally unstable she is! Meanwhile, they themselves look calm and balanced against your background. “Don’t give them such a chance! If the visit cannot be avoided, try to remain calm, ”Shahida Arabi warns.

5.Do not pay attention to “love bombing”

Love bombing, or Love Bombing, are actions that at the beginning of the relationship are aimed at accelerating the rapprochement, both emotional and physical, with a potential “victim”. You can be thrown by letters and messages, you can send flowers and gifts to you – so a potential partner hopes to create a strong connection as soon as possible as soon as possible. But is you so good you know him?

In long -term relationships, such actions help to return the location of the partner. Narcissus ignores or humiliates you, but if you show that you are ready to “break off the hook”, it becomes sharply soft and caring. If you are “bombed”, try not to answer every message right away, not let the fan fill out all your time. So you will give yourself the opportunity to think about what is happening again.

6.Refuse financial relationships and contracts with narcissions

Do not give them a loan and do not ask for help financially. Moreover, you should not enter into any legally issued relations with them. “You will always pay more for it than the daffodil,” the expert is sure.

7.Limit oral communication

If you and the holder of narcissistic features are connected by any business or personal relations, if

he threatens, manipulates or blackmail, do not discuss it with him on the phone or personally. Try to contact with messages or mail. And if you still have to communicate in person, write down what is happening on the recorder. In the future, these evidence may come in handy.

8.Do not visit a psychologist together and do not share your plans

If the partner demonstrates signs of narcissism, it is better to refuse joint therapy. Unfortunately, everything that you say in the specialist’s office can be used against you. Instead, it is better to pay attention to yourself and go to the psychotherapist on your own. So you can work out your injuries and learn to confront the harmful effects of the Narcissus.

It is better not to talk about his plans for his further life: if you want to leave a partner, he can sabotage your attempts to quit him. It is better to first prepare all the necessary documents and find a safe shelter, warns Shahida Arabi.

9.Do not call a daffodil narcissist

If you “make a diagnosis” to a partner, a meeting with his anger awaits you. What is even worse, he can try to punish you for your “audacity”. When the daffodils understand that you doubt their superiority over you, they experience rage and try to punish.

Narchangers people do not accept any criticism in their address, but are ready for a lot to regain power over a partner. Most likely, they will respond to your words either Gazlaling or another “love bombing”.

10.Do not share the most secret with the daffodil

In a healthy relationship, we open to meet the partner, and he accepts this with gratitude and participation. But if the daffodil learns about your pain, fears and injuries, be sure: he will definitely use information against you. Sooner or later, everything that he knows will help him to expose you “abnormal”, “unstable”, “insane”. When you think about sharing with new acquaintances of important experiences, first figure out: do these people deserve your trust?

eleven.Do not ask the Narcissus for help

Empathy is alien to the daffodils. We know many stories about how narcissistic partners threw and betrayed their companions at the worst moments of their life. These are the husbands who start novels while the wife lies on preservation, and wives who are changing the spouses who are seriously ill or faced with severe losses. If you have a “support group”, consisting of friends or relatives, it is better to rely on them, and not on the holder of a narcissistic personality type, Arabi is sure.

The psychologist recalls: you are not to blame that you have suffered from relations with the daffodil, but you can reduce harm from communication with it, learning more about its habits and the style of behavior.